Byr's Blog

New forum for 'direct-game'

2005-08-24T19:26:00.000+02:00

Someone created a new forum to fill the void the bb-public-forum left. The link is www.badboycafe.com.

Message from the admin:
"Let's make this a positive place where you can learn from eachother and improve yourself.
(Atleast this is no place with commercial ties to any WS venture)"

I think that some of you would like to get back in touch with guys from the bb-forum. This could be a good contact point. So check it out!

Some words about the background

2005-08-23T14:14:00.000+02:00

Since many guys who come here who don't know about the background of this blog I'll give a little summary:

I'm not a Badboy-hater. I participated at one of his WS and really liked it at the moment but I got no prolonged results.

After the WS Badboy demanded a review I should post in his public forum before he grants me access to his students-forum. I wrote it and it was really positive because it was written in the afterglow of the WS experience. But few weeks later I was back to normal and had in fact not seen any progress compared to my state before the WS. So two months later I wrote a second review because I thought it was my responsibility to give readers of my first review an update to put things right.

Result: This review was deleted from the forum (while my first positive review was still there until now) and Badboy (and Nighlife who was the co-instructor at my WS) tried to constrain posts of my problems to the hidden forum. After I posted sometimes in the public part of the forum (because a lot more people are writing there and I got much more and also better ideas on how to improve) I was banned from the forum altogether.

Afterwards I looked in the forum from time to time and sometimes read statements from Badboy how he is able to help anybody, how to 'fix' them in few hours if they visit his workshops. After he called me 'sick' in one post after someone ask about why he had killed some of my posts, I was admittedly pissed and created the blog to post things Badboy couldn't delete. Also I looked up some of his posts and put them there to make clear how he seems to think about his business, his students and how he uses exaggerated claims to sell his workshops.

Thats all. Its not my 'life' and I also don't want to stalk Badboy. I simply wanted to put things right. After I created the blog I got some mails from other guys with similar problems who encouraged me to go on and so I continued a little bit longer then I originally wanted. I don't know how long I will carry on with this blog because there is not much more to say. But I thought it could be interesting for others who think about participating at a WS and who had only read positive reviews before.

Of course it's up to you to draw your own conclusions. I simply want to give out more informations to allow people to get a more complete picture. Maybe everything is really my fault. But I don't believe in simple "black and white thinking" and therefore doubt it.

Badboy and Mystery

2005-08-22T15:11:00.000+02:00

I stumbled about something which could be interesting for some of you: Bodboy and Mystery seem to have a very close business relationship.

Take a look at http://badboylifestyle.com/?badboy=contact,pr and see who's responsible for Badboys PR: It's Nick Savoy - who's also the partner of Mystery. Funny eh? I was also told that somewone who wanted to pay for workshops via pay-pal got a confirmation to have payed for mystery-method. Also the big streak of Badboy-Workshops in Canada speaks for this hypothesis.

While it would be a clever move for both to join forces and exchange customers, it seems a bit dishonest because both have very different PU-paradigms. But decide that for yourself.

Update: I've also heard that BB had offered (in a post in his students-forum) his WS participants access to the 'Mystery Lounge', so it's really obvious now that both are closely working together.

Badboy-Forum down

2005-08-22T14:50:00.000+02:00

Ok, let me speculate a bit:

He seems to be concerned about some critique in the forum short time ago.

Badboy is in canada right now for some time and don't have a close look at the forum to delete posts he considers bad PR

So I suspect he downed the forum as long as he in in canada. If he went a week earlier to canada for workshop-preparations (or business stuff he could do over there with his friends from mystery-method) this matches the time of the down-state of the forum.

So I think we will see if he makes it public again or if he believes that he got enough PR to do without the forum after he returns from Canada. In the moment I suspect that he thinks that he can do better without the forum (other do that too - but they never had a public forum so nobody misses anything).

But if he really killed the public forum for PR reasons, that would be a sure sign that his primary concern is his business and not to help people.

Badboy knows his limitations

2005-08-11T18:16:00.000+02:00

but money seems to be more important for him. Read what he posted a short time ago:

NO, I CANNOT help everyone, NEATHER I want!
while walking around city, I see so many FUCKED up people, that I dont even want to talk.
After every workshop, I have 4 days of cleaning PERIOD, cleaning from NEGATIVE energy I sucked while helping guys.THEIR NEGATIVITY.
[...]
sooner or later we will START screening guys and not allow fucked up guys on our workshops.(Its just matter of time, when our workshops will be so popular, that we will be able to screen out fucked up ppl.
[...]

So "sooner or later" he will start to not longer taking money from guys he isn't able and not even willing to help. Why not be honest now? He wrote it himself: Because his workshops aren't full enough until now to affort rejecting people.

If you are one of the men who are thinking about taking a Badboy-workshop: Do you really know, what kind of guy you are? One of the "FUCKED up" ones, Badboy "CANNOT help" and "NEATHER want". Or one of the happy ones who he can and wants to help? Don't expect to get this answerd from him, because until his workshops are full enough with the 'good guys' he will happily take your money, even if he has to 'recover' for 4 days afterwards.

But of couse YOU aren't one of these guys. Are you?

Banned from the board again

2005-08-11T14:21:00.000+02:00

Badbay also seemed to have blocked the whole ip-range of the provider I use. I think this could've blocked some others too. Also it's useless because I can simply use a proxy if I want to read the board.

But I can't post under the 'banned' identity anymore and also can't get my PMs, so if somebody's waiting for a response, please use email and not board-PM.

Badboy is crying for help...

2005-08-08T18:03:00.000+02:00

A little bird (no, it wasn't Dominus) came to me short time ago and brought me the following post from the students forum (I don't have access to it myself, but I believe it is authentic):

Re: help on playboylifestyle forum

[quote="badboy"]byr again attacked on revies forum.. saying workshop doesnt help shy guys..
can U guys write post workshop reviews.. with FR/LR ??
we would really need them...
little help in marketing.. :oops:[/quote]

What should I say - besides that I'm eagerly waiting for the LRs...

Some usefull comment

2005-08-08T15:37:00.000+02:00

I repost the following comment here, because I think it is important and well said and deserves it to be more visible than hidden in a comment list. I also suggest to read Dominus other comment.

Dominus said...

To all the attendees out there whom are unsatisfied with the results after the WS, same problem Byr and I have, let us and the community know about it. BB needs to learn from it and fix his WS, this is important; knowing all the shit you know but the most important thing of all you can't do; approaching on your own!

Not only BB can learn a lesson from it but the entire community.

All BB is doing right now is increasing the prices for his WS/bootcamps.

Don't excuse yourself of coming out of the closet, you won't die from it [I think guys telling their parents they are gay have it a lot harder than us (-;]. It's the 1st step to freedom! To acknowledge you have problems with approaching. Or any other aspect but approaching: FEAR OF FEAR is the NO 1 problem. And this must be heard. (Fear is not excitement as BB is saying but you can turn fear into excitement).

Promises

2005-08-07T12:40:00.000+02:00

Is it wrong to expect something from a workshop like Badboys? Maybe. Maybe everybody should be able to see right thru every pledge and promise and see it as what it is: Advertising. And we all know what to think about the correctness of advertising. Right? Wrong! If it's so easy, companys won't spend billions on advertising and marketing every year. People want to believe promises, expecially if they're searching for help.

So lets take a look at some of Badboys promises:

"One thing I noticed also other teachers ( trainers ) do is : they dont bother to fix core beliefes like insecurity, lack of confidence..etc. but they give you methods & tools that will hide it.
we are fixing those core stuff, and our focus is on CORE, that is reason why we have good results "

(some guy moaned about his insecurities)
"more then half of my students had that same problem when they came to workshop.
Please do yourself a favor, and come on small group workshop, I will solve it this problem in a hour, and you wont even notice that its GONE!"

(some guy told "I just can't get rid of my fear")
"We will kick your ass. by reading your post, I think that you have normal averge problems, and that can be solver really quick. "

I picked these promises, because they are directed to my own problems: Shyness, insecurity, fear of approaching. I could've picked many more, but you see the direction. Together with the glowing reviews you can read on the site, is it really so surprising that one believes in these promises and puts some hope in them?

But when it failed you get answers like

"don't know what to do"

or

"Goimme a normal person, and I will teach him how to be a playboy. I can solve some problems, but I am not a shrink. Neather I want to be."

So now its simple: All people who don't respond in the right way are obviously not 'normal'.

Thank you.

The post no one should see

2005-08-06T19:01:00.000+02:00

I found the old post I wrote and which Badboy removed from his forum.

I think a little bit different about some things I mentioned there now, but since it's a part of the backstory I make it public once more.

2 month later - a workshop postmortem

Ok, the workshop was fun. Much fun. But what about
real results and permanent personality changes? Most
reviews (mine too) are written in the typical
after-workshop euphoria. No wonder that they are very
positive and euphoric, especially if you're a guy who
really experienced a new world during the days of the
workshop. But what happens afterwards, when you're
back into your real world, without instructors and
your fellow workshop participants?

After I was back home after the workshop, I tried to
continue where the workshop ended: Go out, talk to
women, be as outgoing and alpha as possible and so on.
It worked - but only for few days, before it's
starting to wear off - and very quickly I have to
admit.

One problem was, that I had no real results. I still
haven't been able to get some kind of reaction from a
woman which was undeniable positive. In the beginning
I was able to interpret things positive: Yeah, this
was an IOI, that was of course a SOI and so on. But
because I wasn't able to make some real progress from
it, I started to question myself if these are really
IOIs and SOIs or if it was just mental masturbation.

And there was the problem of 'negative anchoring': I
have been in all clubs and bars of my home-town often
enough before the WS and haven't experienced much
positive things in there. So in the moment I was back
there, the negative memories are stronger than the
positve memories from the WS. I tried to create
positive memories by just creating positive
experiences by talking to women but that doesn't
worked out: On my first few aproaches I got shoot-down
very brutal and after each of these failure aproaching
became harder and harder - and shot time later I was
practically as unable to aproach as before the WS.

So few weeks after the WS I was more depressed than
before the WS. It was like I had seen the light and
now I was unable to find the switch to turn it back on
and tapping desperately around in the dark. So after
the situation got worse and worse, I stopped all this
'seduction stuff', stayed home and tried not to think
about all this, just to get my mind clean.

Now, three weeks later, I am again more relaxed about
all these things, but OTOH I'm back were I was before
the WS - and have no real clue how to continue. Ok, I
think I am a little bit more relaxed when talking to
other people than before the WS, I have some knowledge
I haven't had before, but thats far from enough.

Did I have 'buyers remorse' about the WS? No! It was
fun, it teached me interesting things and I would do
it again, because even small improvements are better
than nothing. But on the downside there were no real
results, not even something like a little telephone
number I got from a women.

So, what went wrong at the WS? Why these big
discrepancies between the time at the WS and some
weeks after it? Maybe it's because the WS was so much
'high energy' and created some kind of 'virtual
reality' which you can't continue to live in your
normal life (ok, maybe other people can, but I
obviously not). And after some time, the days of the
WS seems like a wild and pleasant dream but not like a
real experience you can live on. 3 Days are just not
enough to permanently transform a introverted guy like
me into some kind of 'alpha-party-animal'. And since
most of BBs techniques requires a lot of self esteem,
they don't work at the moment you're falling back into
your 'old-self'.

Ok, these were my 'some-time-after-WS'-experiences. I
really would like to know about others.

byr

A 'block-answer' to some of your questions

2005-08-06T17:37:00.000+02:00

Some guys wrote me pm's and wanted to know more about my workshop experiences. I will try to answer some questions about my experiences here.

"What is Badboys method"

Its difficult to explain, its a combination of peer pressure, role-playing and submission to the instructor. Sort of a 'light-version' of the marines-drill-method. Don't expect anything real fancy. If I describe it in details most people would say 'What? Thats all?'. But if you are at the workshop the situation is different.

"How can it 'backfire'"

I'm not a pychologist, so its difficult to explain. My theory is, that there is simply happening to much in a very short time which really makes an impact to you. Let me explain:

There are two types of guys who visit that kind of workshop: Shy introverts like me who have big problems to get to know women and wanna-be playboys who have already some success but want to become much better. While the second type of guys won't have any problems because they are interested in techniques and not in changes to their personality, its different for the first kind of guy. To get a real shy person to approach strangers in clubs, bars or on street the instructor have to pull a lot of strings to make that possible.

And it really works at the workshop. But it also seems to have side effects. I've heard from other students that they were ill or had headaches for some days etc after the workshop. The situation at the workshop turns your world upside-down (at least in my case) and for two days on the workshop I somehow was the person I really wanted to be - but afterwards I was back to normal really fast and saw what I lost. Like someone who has been blind for his whole life and is able to see for some days - and than he gets back to normal into his eternal darkness.

I my case after the workshop, when I was back to my normal life, it wasn't possible to maintain the state from the workshop. I manged it to approach few times but only got rejected and each rejection made it harder the next time. So I was back to normal really fast. Ok, not really back to normal but in fact in a state much worse then before the workshop. I had seen the light and there I was back in blindness. Also I think I put more hope into the workshop than I admitted to myself and this hope was shattered as well. This put me into the by far worst depression I've ever had and it took me a long time to get back to my state before the workshop.

"About Badbody"

I think Badboy and also the Fidentia-guys who seem to use the same method are playing with some strong stuff they don't really understand. I can really work, but also there are dangers and especially Badboy don't seem to care that much about his 'failures' after the Workshop. Nightlife (now Fidentia, who was the co-instructor at my workshop) tried a bit to help me after I posted my 'Workshop postmortem' but I'm still suspicous if he really wanted to help me or if his prime interest was to limit damage to their business.

Because you don't hear from the majority of students after the ws, it's difficult to estimate how many guys have problems and how many have success. If I had jumped from a bridge because of my depression, nobody would ever know. I haven't wrote in the forum for some time after the workshop (for various reasons) and I've started to write only because I read a post from Nightlife in ASF where he boldly stated that they can correct anybody anytime. My intention was to tell people that that that isn't neccessarily true because false hopes can be very damaging.

I know of a few guys for which the Workshop doesn't worked out that well, but they don't made it public because they fear to lose support from Badboy or lose friends in the 'community'.

Blog created

2005-08-06T17:16:00.000+02:00

Ok, I created this blog to discuss things here which are difficult to discuss on Badboys Forum. Anybody is free to comment. It would be nice if you use your nick from the Badboy-Forum.